Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Love isn't in my plan.

I don't want to be in love. It's not a good time for me. I don't want that giddy feeling, the completeness. I don't want to need someone again. 

I'm not ready for love, whoever is in charge of timing really blew it on that one. You should have brought him back to me when I was ready. With the way I am now, this will only end in disaster. 

I'm not ready for the anticipation. For waiting all week just to see those gorgeous eyes. For making plans and holding hands. None of that is on my life calendar right now. 

I'm not ready. 
I'm not ready for the jealousy, the insecurity, the fear of loss. I'm not ready to always wonder if tomorrow will be the day I'll finally be too crazy and they'll walk away. Is today the day he meets the next me? Brighter, thinner, better. 

I'm not ready for love. Nah, not me. 

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