Wednesday, December 18, 2013

...but sometimes my medicine decides to give me time.

Today was one of those days. I woke up easier than usual and that should have been a sign. My body still hurt, like always, but my brain was ready. Anyone who has been down the bipolar road knows that your body often wins. 

I managed to get the girls ready and off to school. Score one for functioning like a normal adult! I got to Medfit okay and even made it (slowly, mind you) through my workout. My blood pressure was high and that's abnormal for me. After picking up my sister and my youngest, drinking some hot chocolate and eating some food I could feel a crash coming. I set my sister up for babysitting and prepared. 

The crash lasted about 3-4 hours. I can't stand it when they come on. Having to out everything on hold so my brain can try to figure out what the nerves, chemicals and other vital functions of my body are supposed to be doing and try to get them all back in line is not awesome. I try to avoid not awesome things. 

Sometimes I think, "I want my body back." Then I remember I'm 29 and was diagnosed at 14. I never had my body to begin with. More than half of my life has been spent trying to figure out how to clean up the aftermath of the crashes. 

I called my psychiatrist with complaints of breast tenderness and the medication she suggested is currently settling and going through lawsuits because it caused men to grow breasts. I believe I'll pass, ma'am. This is strike one. She gets three and I request a new doctor. 

I've seen bipolar disorder referred to as a roller coaster. Let me tell you, I usually don't like those either. 

Monday, December 16, 2013

...and it didn't help when I needed it to. A review of "Not Your Mother's Clean Freak" Dry Shampoo.

Look another post! Back-to-back? Don't get used to it, I'm flaky. I had this post in mind first but didn't think it appropriate to just jump in.

Recently I was fortunate to be chosen to receive an Influenster Violet VoxBox. Let me tell you guys, I love these things. I can almost always use at least half of what they send me and there's enough for me to actually decide if I like what they send or not. None of those tiny samples that you can barely use.

Anyway, this time I'm going to tell you about something called "Not Your Mother's Clean Freak Refreshing Dry Shampoo". Now you have to understand, I have little faith in dry shampoos. They never work for me. My hair is dark, thick and coarse. They usually make it look gray no matter how much I brush or rub with a towel. The product never seems to be able to penetrate my hair all the way so there are spots that are still oily and spots that have that volume I'm looking for. So obviously I went into this skeptical.

All this experience did was back up the others. I wanted to love this product. The idea of not having to shampoo my long hair for an extra day is something I can get behind. Dry shampoo is not my answer. My boyfriend and I had a date last night. His company Christmas party. 4 hours before I have to be there, he tells me it's dressy. I flew into panic mode. I had planned to wear jeans! So I spent the next almost 3 hours trying to find shoes to match the two (yeah, I'm not a dress up kind of girl) pretty dresses I had. Did I mention they were sleeveless and it's December? Well I just did. I finally had my outfit and it was beauty time. There's no way I can shampoo my hair, dry it, and fix it in 30 minutes. So I grabbed Not Your Mother's dry shampoo. I sprayed and sprayed, brushed and brushed. I tried very hard to get it everywhere but either I missed quite a few areas, or it just didn't absorb.

I brushed, rubbed with a towel, brushed. Flipped around, sprayed some more. There's not much left in the bottle and I have to say, I wasn't impressed. My hair still looked oily and still had that grayish sheen to it. I managed to make it presentable but I worried all night that people would think I was dirty because I didn't have time to shampoo when I rushed through my shower beforehand.

Oddly enough, when I woke up the next morning my hair was full of volume and sass. It looked much better than it did when I originally fixed it. Unfortunately for the product, it's meant to be a right now fix not a tomorrow morning one.

I wish I had some pros for this product. I hate to write a review that is full of cons. I will say that if you have light, thin hair this product could possibly work very well for you. I just need to resign myself to the fact that there will never be a dry shampoo for my crazy hair and stop trying!

I received Not Your Mother's Clean Freak Dry Shampoo through the Influenster VoxBox program which can be located at You can find more information on this product here. The product was provided free of charge for me to use and possibly review. All opinions are mine and always will be.

...but sometimes you make time for things you need.

Ah, the dreaded introductory post. That empty white box, the blinking cursor ticking away the time as you try to come up with something true, witty and interesting. Everyone says how terrible they are at these things, then somehow when they start they can't stop. First I'll tell you about this blog, then I'll tell you about me.

This blog has no point. Sorry dear readers but I don't have a mission. It will be a few parts personal, a couple parts reviews, maybe some crafty things here and there, and probably no business. Business and I were never very good friends. It probably will not be a regularly updated blog as I'm not very regular about anything. 

I also have no point. I don't have any dreams or goals for this blog. I just need an outlet. Somewhere to put the things that are floating around in my head with nowhere to land. I can be annoying, I will vent about things that are serious first world problems. I will LOL and LMAO and probably WTF quite a lot. I curse! stop clutching your pearls ladies, I don't wear them. I am annoying, I am silly. I'm a teenaged girl trapped in an almost 30 year old body sometimes. 

I am the mother of two girls. One is 10 and one is 5. I will use their names. I will use my names. I don't have any cutesy nicknames for any of us. I may throw out a nickname here or there that I actually call them in real life but it will be mixed in with their real names. 
I have two cats. I would ADOPT ALL THE CATS! if I could. Sadly, I hate litter boxes and food isn't cheap. My cats are both boys and are both monsters! I love them to pieces. You will see them, I'm sure. 

I am bipolar. It's a recent diagnosis, but not a recent issue. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder at age 14. I struggled through medications and therapy. I cried and fought my way through two pregnancies unmedicated. I've seen doctor after doctor. Finally a doctor spoke up and said, "You know, maybe if the depression medication isn't working it's because you're not depressed. Maybe, you're bipolar." And finally something I had been telling my mother since I was 17 years of age was confirmed. I'm now on my way to finding a medication and therapy combination that works for me. You probably will hear about this quite a bit, it is a large part of me.

I don't know how to end this, I've always been terrible at ending things (just ask my exes!) so I suppose I'll just say, see you next entry!