Monday, February 8, 2016

Free Therapy, right outside my door.

I started reading a book yesterday, Tales From Another Mother Runner by Dimity McDowell, and I haven't gotten very far through it but there were parts where they were talking about why they run or why they started running. It's been on my mind since and I don't really have anyone to talk to about it so I figured I'd revive my blog.

Most people run so they can get healthy, so they can have that extra piece of cake. They run because runner's high is real and it's wonderful. They run because the sense of accomplishment at the end of a marathon is an amazing feeling (I imagine, I haven't even done a 5k). There are a multitude of reasons why people run and I'm sure if you asked every runner their reason would be slightly different than the one before.

I've obviously mentioned many times in this blog that I'm bipolar. I've talked about being in the hospital and going to therapy, about medication and maybe about the coping skills they keep trying to teach me. 

None of that is as good as running. Running is my best therapy. I go out on the road, put my earbuds in, and for thirty minutes to an hour everything just kind of fades away. I'm not a mom trying to figure out bills, I'm not a daughter worried about her sick mom and Mamaw, I'm not the woman with bipolar disorder constantly worrying when the next depression is coming or if I'm going to be hypomanic and do something I'll regret. It's me, my music, and the road. It's simple, isn't it? One foot in front of the other, breathe in and breathe out. I don't have to think about anything but when to turn and, "Are there any cars coming?" 

I used to joke, "If you see me running rest assured, someone is chasing me." Now it's a stress reliever, a way to clear my head, and yes, a way to catch that high you get after a run. Nothing touches that feeling. (Okay, maybe really good sex.) There's a very noticeable difference between my moods on days I run and days I don't. (I haven't been running lately and I've been very meh and sluggish. Summer tends to throw my running off.) I think everyone prefers the days I head out for a run, I know I do. 

I know there really isn't anyone that reads this but I'll end with a question anyway. What's your therapy? What do you do on those days when you've just had it and you need to do something to fix yourself? 

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